Self-Compassion & Self-Esteem
Building a Foundation for Inner Well-Being
In our pursuit of mental and emotional well-being, two concepts emerge as pivotal: self-compassion and self-esteem. While they are distinct in their definitions, they are deeply intertwined, each reinforcing the other to foster a healthier, more resilient sense of self.
Understanding Self-Compassion and Self-Esteem
Self-compassion involves treating oneself with kindness, understanding, and patience, especially during times of failure or suffering. It encourages us to approach our flaws and mistakes with acceptance rather than judgment. Kristin Neff, a leading researcher on self-compassion, emphasizes that it involves three core components: self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness.
Self-esteem is the overall sense of personal worth and value an individual places on themselves, reflecting their confidence in their abilities and their belief in being worthy of happiness and success. It's how much you like, value, and respect yourself, encompassing both your beliefs about your skills and attributes and the positive or negative feelings associated with those beliefs. It’s that little voice that says, “You’ve got this!”
The Relationship Between the Two
While high self-esteem can boost confidence, it sometimes relies on a foundation of external validation—if our achievements or validation falters, our sense of worth may diminish and our sense of self becomes fragile. Self-compassion offers a more stable base, encouraging us to maintain a kind and understanding attitude toward ourselves regardless of external outcomes.
Research suggests that practicing self-compassion can lead to more authentic and resilient self-esteem. Instead of tying our self-worth to perfection or accomplishments, internalized self-esteem and self-compassion cultivates an unconditional sense of value that withstands set. You’re not just awesome when you win—you’re awesome all the time, because you treat yourself kindly and like a friend.
Psychotherapy: The Self-Care Work-shopping of the Mind
Therapy isn’t just for rainy days—it’s a playground for your mind! Here’s how it helps you level up your self-compassion and self-esteem:
Spot the Sneaky Thoughts: Therapists help you find those negative beliefs and show you how to outsmart them. It’s like swapping out the grumpy narrator in your head for someone who’s got your back.
Get Mindful: With techniques from Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), you learn to notice your thoughts without letting them call the shots. You get to be the DJ of your own mental playlist!
Heal Old Hurts: Therapists can help in processing past traumas or adverse experiences that make you feeling shame or unworthiness. Healing these wounds can break the cycle of self-criticism, paving the way for increased self-compassion and a more stable sense of self-worth.
Self Compassion Super Skills: Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT) is like a warm hug from your own mind. Thought exercises, creative imagery, and writing letters to yourself that say, “Go, you!”
Unbreakable Resilience: Therapy teaches you to bounce back after setbacks, with a smile (or at least a friendly wink). Self-compassion and self-esteem team up to help you roll with life’s punches and come out stronger.
In the end, practicing self-compassion is like planting sunshine in your soul. With support from therapy, you’ll have the tools to treat yourself with kindness, acceptance, and understanding feeling better able to embrace all your perfect imperfections. Forget perfection—aim for genuine self-love and understanding!
References
Muris, P., & Otgaar, H. (2023). Self-esteem and self-compassion: A narrative review and meta-analysis on their links to psychological problems and well-being. Psychology research and behavior management, 2961-2975
Neff, K. (2023). Self-compassion: Theory, method, research, and intervention. Annual review of psychology, 74(1), 193-218.
Neff, K., & Tirch, D. (2013). Self-compassion and ACT. In T. B. Kashdan & J. Ciarrochi (Eds.),
Mindfulness, acceptance, and positive psychology: The seven foundations of well-being
(pp. 78–106). New Harbinger Publications, Inc..
Orth, U., & Robins, R. W. (2022). Is high self-esteem beneficial? Revisiting a classic question. American psychologist, 77(1), 5.
